Spoken Word 2 Synth (Inspired from the Channel 4 Drama “Humans”)
I am a Synth. Trust me it is not a lie; for I would love to just laugh out loud right now and say “Na I’m just messing with you”
As I observe myself and make my deductions; I sometimes wonder why I didn’t come delivered from the Persona Synthetics Box; instead of being shocked that I was actually born from a mother’s womb.
Autism/Aspergers Syndrome affects everyone differently. For me it’s effects seems so real to that of a Synth; that watching one episode of Humans made me shake in realization; and unable to watch another episode.
Why would I want to watch that drama about Synths? when I’m a version of one living and breathing right now?
Why would I want to watch the risks a Synth is in (for example: being taken advantage of, being mocked, being used to make someone else prosper, or be used); When I’m just one innocent misunderstanding in communication away, from suffering the consequences of it myself?
My dad gave up on me a long time ago, and to be honest; I don’t blame him.
Like a computer I require many upgrades, updates, and rechecks; in the form of speech and language therapy, speech therapist, CBT Treatment, time and effort defending me, understanding non-verbal language; as well as the normal things to help a life grow.
The horrifying thing is that my mother still has to keep paying for my upkeep and existence; while I still need to recheck on what basic human communication I need to know and learn.
How do I feel? Well it may amaze you to know…that I don’t know how to feel. I was even taught how to feel. Crazy Huh?
All I can say is living as a Synth in this system and generation; makes me only feel fear, loneliness, neglect, emptiness; and dread.
If you don’t have what I have please appreciate all the simple things you can do; for it takes another person a lot of pain, depression, and even sacrifice to understand.